10 tips for more autonomy in everyday life
Why autonomy is the key to a more fulfilling life
Do you sometimes feel as if your everyday life is determined by external influences? Obligations, expectations or social pressures often seem to take control. Yet the need for autonomy - the ability to make decisions freely and independently - is a fundamental factor for satisfaction and personal growth. According to Deci and Ryan's (1985) self-determination theory, autonomy, competence and social connectedness are essential for a fulfilled life. People who experience a high degree of autonomy are more creative, more satisfied and more resilient to stress. (1)
In this article, you will learn 10 scientifically based tips that will help you to strengthen both your autonomy and your self-determination in everyday life.
1st tip: Set clear priorities
A hectic everyday life can cause you to lose sight of what is important. Setting clear priorities is a first step towards strengthening your autonomy. Studies by Locke and Latham (2002) show that people who formulate clear goals make their decisions more consciously and are therefore more self-determined. (2)
Practical exercise
Write down the five most important areas of your life that currently mean the most to you (e.g. family, career development, health).
Check how much time and energy you are actually investing in these areas and adjust your focus accordingly.
By focusing on what is really important to you, you gain more control and strengthen both your autonomy and your self-determination.
2nd tip: Learn to say no
Saying no is one of the most valuable skills when it comes to preserving your autonomy. Consciously setting boundaries not only strengthens your decision-making ability, but also your inner satisfaction. Every no you say gives you the freedom to focus your energy on things that are really important to you.
Practical exercise
Practice saying no politely and firmly without feeling guilty. A simple sentence like: "That doesn't fit into my plan right now, but thank you for asking" can help you to say no without creating conflict.
Remember: every no to something that doesn't suit you is a yes to your autonomy.
Setting boundaries is a crucial step in making decisions in line with your own values and strengthening your self-determination. (3)
3rd tip: Take responsibility for your decisions
An important aspect of autonomy is the ability to take full responsibility for your decisions. People who blame their decisions on external circumstances often feel helpless and externally controlled. According to Rotter's Locus of Control Theory (1966), people with an "internal locus of control" - the belief that they can shape their own lives - experience more satisfaction and self-determination. (4)
Practical exercise
Reflect on your last important decisions and ask yourself: Was I the active creator, or did I allow myself to be influenced by external circumstances?
Think before every decision: Which option matches my values and long-term goals?
By taking responsibility for your actions, you strengthen your autonomy and regain control over your life.
4th tip: Introduce a daily reflection practice
Regular reflection is one of the most effective methods for promoting autonomy and self-determination in everyday life. Consciously reflecting on your own decisions and experiences strengthens self-awareness and improves the quality of your decisions. Studies show that self-reflection helps people to make informed decisions and better understand their own behavior. (5)
Practical exercise
Take five minutes at the end of the day and answer these questions:
What decision have I made today that has brought me closer to my goals?
What external or internal factors have influenced my decisions?
What would I like to do differently tomorrow?
Write your answers in a journal or app to visualize your progress.
Reflection not only creates clarity, but also strengthens your confidence in your ability to make self-determined and independent decisions.
5th tip: Strengthen your self-confidence through small successes
Self-confidence is an important foundation for autonomy. If you believe in your abilities, you are less influenced by external opinions and can make decisions that really suit you. According to research by Amabile and Kramer (2011), small successes are motivating because they reinforce the feeling of competence and increase intrinsic motivation in the long term. (6)
Practical exercise
Set yourself a small goal every day that is achievable but still challenging (e.g. try out a new habit or complete a task faster).
Keep a written record of your successes to remind yourself regularly of what you have already achieved.
Every success - no matter how small - strengthens your confidence in yourself and shows you that you are able to act autonomously and with self-determination.
6th tip: Develop a clear vision for your life
People with clear life goals often act in a more self-determined way, as they make decisions in line with their inner values. According to Deci and Ryan (2000), intrinsic motivation, which arises from personal goals and interests, promotes autonomy and well-being. (7)
Practical exercise
Develop a vision of life:
Take time to think about your long-term goals and dreams.
Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve in the next five to ten years?
Make a note of these visions and reflect on them regularly.
Identify values:
Think about which values are particularly important to you in life (e.g. freedom, family, creativity).
Make sure that your daily decisions and actions are in line with these values.
A clear vision of life and an awareness of your inner values help you to make autonomous and self-determined decisions, which leads to a more fulfilling life.
7th tip: Plan conscious breaks
A hectic everyday life can limit your autonomy, as stress and excessive demands often lead to impulsive decisions. Kabat-Zinn (2003) shows in his research that mindfulness and regular breaks not only reduce stress levels, but also strengthen the ability to make reflective and self-determined decisions. (8)
Practical exercise
Plan fixed breaks into your day where you can relax and let your thoughts run free. Just five minutes of mindfulness or a breathing exercise can make a difference.
Use these moments to ask yourself: "Am I on the right path right now?"
Conscious breaks help you to organize your everyday life autonomously and focus on what is really important to you.
8th tip: Reduce perfectionism to strengthen your autonomy
Perfectionism can significantly limit your autonomy, as the constant urge to be flawless often leads to you delaying decisions or letting yourself be guided by external expectations. A study by Curran and Hill (2019) shows that perfectionism not only increases stress, but also increases the feeling of external control. (9) By letting go of the idea that everything has to be perfect, you gain more freedom to make authentic decisions.
Practical exercise
Define a "good enough" criterion for each task. Think about it: When is the task sufficiently done so that it fulfills its purpose without having to be perfect?
Realize that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process and have nothing to do with your value as a person.
When you let go of perfectionism, you strengthen your autonomy and can focus on what really matters.
9th tip: Be inspired by role models
Role models can help you to strengthen your autonomy by showing you how others live authentically and self-determined lives. According to a study by Lockwood et al (2002), positive role models increase feelings of competence and motivation, which directly affects your ability to make autonomous decisions. (10)
Practical exercise
Think of a person you admire - be it someone from your personal environment or a public figure. Think about: What characteristics or habits of this person could you adopt in order to achieve your own goals?
Write down what inspires you about your role model and implement a concrete action that brings you closer to your ideal.
Role models help you to develop your autonomy by showing you that a self-determined life is possible.
10th tip: Consciously celebrate your successes
An important part of autonomy is recognizing your own progress. Studies by Sheldon and Elliot (1999) show that consciously celebrating successes not only increases intrinsic motivation, but also strengthens your sense of control over your own life. (11)
Practical exercise
At the end of each week, take time to write down three things you have done well or achieved, no matter how small they may seem.
Reward yourself for bigger milestones, for example with an activity that you enjoy.
Consciously celebrating your successes reminds you that you are making progress and are in control of your life.
Your path to more autonomy and self-determination
Autonomy and self-determination are not one-off decisions, but an ongoing process. The 10 tips in this article are based on sound scientific findings and offer you practical approaches to make your life more conscious, self-determined and authentic.
Start with a tip that appeals to you the most and observe how your ability to make decisions autonomously improves in everyday life. With every conscious action, you strengthen your confidence in yourself and create a life that really suits you.
Would you like to find out how my systemic coaching can support you on your path to greater autonomy?
Sources
(1) Center for Self-Determination Theory (n.d.). Online link
(2) Locke & Latham (2002). Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation: A 35-Year Odyssey. American Psychologist. Online link
(3) Baus (2015). Saying "no" and setting boundaries. In: Self-management: Work is an eternal flow. Springer Gabler. Online link
(4) Rotter (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological Monographs: General and Applied. Online link
(5) Bemmann & Hussmann (2023). Self-Reflection as a Tool to Foster Profound Sustainable Consumption Decisions. Online link
(6) Amabile & Kramer (2011). The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work. Harvard Business School. Online link
(7) Deci & Ryan (2000). Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivations: Classic Definitions and New Directions. Contemporary Educational Psychology. Online link
(8) Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR). Constructivism in the Human Sciences. Online link
(9) Curran & Hill (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016. American Psychological Association. Online link
(10) Lockwood, Jordan & Kunda (2002). Motivation by positive or negative role models: Regulatory focus determines who will best inspire us. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Online link
(11) Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Online link